We Really Existed And We Really Did This

by David Benjamin Blower

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    This is the artist's cut: it's twenty minutes longer, with 19 tracks, including readings by Wumi Donald.

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1.
Two horses strain, one from the other Pulling two overlapping worlds asunder Chains pulled taught, Quivering in the thunder The coming days make their ways into the yonder And the past makes no sound and will never turn around As though it knows it is forevermore betrayed And though it may be wrong, if ever it was strong Its strength is in the service of its hate, from now on Its strength is in the service of its hate And now the present’s has fled, away as the gull flies flees the apocalyptic stalling of the sunrise And you and I’re stood, wide eyes to Jesus Two worlds tearing asunder beneath us And many hands do clap over mouths as the trap pulls tighter and the overlap is shrinking And they say we must choose; on which world of the two Shall we fall? Or else be lost between them sinking? What to do? Where to fall? Or else be lost between them sinking? Loves, I shit ye not,the aeon is turning One age pulls away from another in revulsion Under our watch, the tribes are a-forming Around whichever world they all will fight for in the morning. And though we laugh it off with many a meme upon our screens Elsewhere the bombs and screams are a-ringing And though we play the fool, this weary country and its queen The earth has not forgot the blood of women, boys and girls The earth shall not forget the blood of these
2.
Everything is changed All didst run its course The present fears nothing more Than a Trojan Horse Ye who steak your existence On borders and walls The emerging future’s among you! Its within us all! Everything is changed Be still and listen Can you hear the air quietly Hissing out somewhere? Blowing in your hair? Stare at nothing for a second Don’t even think The world inflated around us Is all going limp Everything is as it ever was Only more so Behold all of thy gods Same as ten years ago The screen is a Berlin wall Between us all and the show yesterday’s entertainment Is tomorrow’s government, no? Everything is as it ever was Only more so The virtues that held back the weather Discharged long time ago And all you terrified zealots Didst vote yr messiah to the throne One criminal gang for another All make their deals with Rome Everything is strange Who here moved the piece? That began the rearrangement Of all things from west to east Behold the readjustment Of all those who said they knew And all of the listless players That don’t know what to do Everything is Strange And who here knows the rules? Still hammering the present crisis With a box of yesterday’s tools? who still hopes down telescopes Upon this ship of fools Who here still looking for the promised land To drill for fossil fuels? Everything is under strain And where now’re thy failing gods? Trapped in the black mirror? In flight and dropping bombs? Behind fences lined with wire Policed by guards with dogs? Sat down in the seats of power? Yes, you go tell that fox Everything is under strain Death and worms in the royal box O ye anxious clouds I’ll be your lightning rod! Scapegoat the wanderers For your decline and fall What else is crucifixion But your loss of control? Everything is in pain So many tears unshed There’ll be no reparation There’ll be no justice, yet And all that has been taken That never shall be returned And all that has been broken Forever shall bear the wounds Everything is in pain Gather ye round the past For all the noble industries That never shall be re-sparked For all the lost identities since thrown beneath the wheels For all the ancient slaveries That shall not be healed Shed thy tears forever O let them never end For how many tears, shall we say Before thy sorrow is spent? And when you’ve wept until you Know there are not tears enough Then shall ye be ready to Turn and face the rising sun Then ye shall be ready to Turn about from that before Then shall you end your lust for victories in this fruitless war Then shall you end your hope of saving what you though was yours Then shall you turn and see a Future which belongs none, and all
3.
The Wall 02:34
We all walk into the future, backwards Because the past is our only reference And only rarely does the present demand That we turn and refer to what stands there ahead of us And when the present demands that we turn and behold We will confound it, and we will say “no” And any who turn and say what they see We will no longer break bread with these For if we must hit the wall it is our Wish to do so unknowingly Can we hope for any better ending that this? If only it were so! But we do know We can smell it, and we can can feel it in our bones And to suspend our knowing unknowing, we go And hang what we know on the tired bones of those Scapegoat the wretched of the earth For the judgment that we have piled high against ourselves All before creation gives birth to the New things we cannot imagine Nor shall we have any right to taste them And when she will take back from us all her stolen sabbath’s rest We will say, on that holy day: “amen, and yes”
4.
Stateless people, stateless money, stateless information Stateless highways and byways passing through the barb-wire fencing The world is now awoken unto new imaginations If our gods fall with our states, then what was our religion? Yes, if our gods fall with our states, then what was our religion? But with eyes of stone we pick up the phone and say “Bulldoze the Global Village boys” So who then is the guarantor now of the stateless human? And under which law is it, now, that we should deal with you then? You who ’scaped the world we poisoned out beyond the margins You who ‘scaped the world they blew apart with bombs we sold them You who braved the lawless in-between world of Poseidon You who live among us now as future among the present? Hell no… “Bulldoze the Global Village boys” So what now when all tribes and tongues do gather on our borders? So what now when this song of praise is sung in many colours? So what now of the corrugated towns stood here before us? So what now with this interruption in our fragile nomos? Shall we grant this city to be realised among us? But with hearts of stone we pick up the phone and say “Bulldoze the Global Village boys”
5.
O Scaffoldless hope, o climbing Thoughts, without banisters, if There is any road into the Days beyond the calendars of Woe, it’s but a thread, a circus Rope, on which all gaze with disbel- lief, through so much woe, so many Ghosts, whose faces marked with hardened grief (Whistle) You streets and towns, behold your ground, and dig your wells together You streets and towns, hold each others shoulders: govern yourselves together The future is crashing like waves against the breakers The suits are all stashing their gold in hidden places If you guessed the future’s benign y’are mistaken my friends O, Angel of Time, with frozen eyes, looking back on catastro- phies, all stacking up and piling high. And yet I see you, yes I see, you want to heal and make it right, but your wings are spread out wide, and some ill-wind carries ye away, off to some future there behind (Whistle) You streets and towns, behold your ground, and dig your wells together You streets and towns, hold each others shoulders: govern yourselves together The future is crashing like waves against the breakers The suits are all stashing their gold in hidden places If you guessed the future’s benign y’are mistaken my friends
6.
The Youth 03:10
Unconsoled youth, pick up your spades Go outside and dig your graves Or go dig wells, because these days there’s only these two ways still left open to you And as you dig, best pay no mind To all the voices there behind Who can’t understand why you don’t pay any mind What they passed down to you And the futures of today Have debts they’ll never pay And the ‘morrow will be strange My friends you are the silent scream Of those who’re born into a screen Out of a world that has been sold to sociopathic deal-makers And though we hear their drums of death If you all have anything left Go plant a tree and watch it grow For these things shall inherit the earth And the futures of today Have debts they’ll never pay And the ‘morrow will be strange And as the proud draw up the maps Tell you your names and slap your backs You play their games, or else reclaim Creation from her slave-masters So unclench your fists and raise your heads Knead the dough and bake the bread Open the doors, welcome the guests And conspire round the table my friends And the futures of today Have debts they’ll never pay And the ‘morrow will be strange
7.
The Floor 02:47
And so will we fall through all our troubled sleep And awaken to panic, guilt and to dread And then we will fall through the floor once more And then into tears and laughter instead And wonder and sorrow over everything that is How much it matters, in ecstatic clarity and madness And every thread of the dread comedy of foolishness That we really existed! And we really did this! And nothing can be undone only tended, and forgiven Then shall we open our small clenched fists And hold out palms of powerless thankfulness For everything we received was gift And there’s been no small measure of love in our midst And finally, stand we all, in defeated awe At everything that is, and was, and shall be evermore
8.
The Soil 04:02
Put your hands in the soil Feel the groan and feel the joy All sit with the hurt All stare at the dirt Occupy the bandstands Gather lost citizens Climb down your pyramids Relinquish your privilege Welcome strangers to your table As though they were angels Make space for the spent Sit with the lament Break your vows to the Powers Plant trees. grow flowers Share your resources Free all the horses All citizens Put your hands in the soil And feel the groan And can you feel the joy And be still Down by the riverside And who’s not afraid to die? Emerge from the waves All torn from the powers of the age Live now as citizens Of what’s left in the age to come Behold the messiah dying For the earth we’re crucifying Break bread and take drink All feel and think Shed tears everyday For everything we throw away Mourn for your families Mourn for your enemies Sing songs to the stars Console yr grieving hearts All citizens Put your hands in the soil And feel the groan And can you feel the joy And be still Clap your hand to your mouth Let your pride go south Put hands on your head Make terms with the dead Put your hands on your face Too late to learn from mistakes Put your hand on your heart Can we stop what we start? Sisters to the leverage Brothers to the edges Youth to the fore The bleak future is yours All ye of noble birth Join the scum of the earth Gather round the powerless For theirs is the power that can save us All citizens Put your hands in the soil And feel the groan And can you feel the joy And be still
9.
Its good the wind should blow Come and go as it please Let's meet outside the walls Highways rolling free Its good to light up the fire Its good to break the bread Place a drop of oil Upon another’s head O stranger, Stranger All of the sky between us Be filled with a hopeful sound O Neighbour, Neighbour Every yard between us Shall now be holy ground O ye violent law O hostility O ye merciless thought O ye gates without keys Hang no more in false doom Stand no more in between Be broke down in the prayer Of these sufferings O stranger, Stranger All of the sky between us Be filled with a hopeful sound O Neighbour, Neighbour Every yard between us Shall now be holy ground
10.
The Finale 04:49
And then didst we all cry out To the ages behind and above us In sorrows, to call them down To bury, to end and to crush us Now fey, in a vacant dance E’er bouncing off of one another And how e’er much the cries do arise Yet can we do no otherwise? And so it goes Ye wonder how much might end? O, so much more than you would dare to imagine And yet, in the wastes beyond You’d be surprised how cheaply all this is forgotten When not one stone shall stand Up there upon another And all the wicked deals that we made To try and save our righteous tower Shall unmask the whole And when darkest night doth wear And the world lies quiet and defeated The bereaved in their sorrows stare And, indifferent, the cold sun riseth And do they who wander slowly from this place Still hope toward the Messianic Grace To gather all the world, such as it is And ever was, in his embrace? May it yet be so

about

This is a lament; an apocalyptic folk odyssey through the collapsing present.

“Today the globe has shrunk in the wash”
-Marshall McLuhan

“Where we perceive a chain of events,
he sees one single catastrophe
which keeps piling wreckage upon wreckage.”
-Walter Benjamin

“Hope is an ax you break down doors with in an emergency...”
-Rebecca Solnit

“The work of this emotion requires people
who throw themselves actively into what is becoming...”
-Ernst Bloch

credits

released May 3, 2019

Two Horses linoprint on the cover art by Luke Sewell
Design by Chris Donald
Written and Produced by David Benjamin Blower

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David Benjamin Blower Birmingham, UK

David Benjamin Blower: 6-string writer, poet, theologian and podcaster from Birmingham in the UK.

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