We Really Existed And We Really Did This

by David Benjamin Blower

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about

This is a lament; an apocalyptic folk odyssey through the collapsing present.

“Today the globe has shrunk in the wash”
-Marshall McLuhan

“Where we perceive a chain of events,
he sees one single catastrophe
which keeps piling wreckage upon wreckage.”
-Walter Benjamin

“Hope is an ax you break down doors with in an emergency...”
-Rebecca Solnit

“The work of this emotion requires people
who throw themselves actively into what is becoming...”
-Ernst Bloch

credits

released May 3, 2019

Two Horses linoprint on the cover art by Luke Sewell
Design by Chris Donald
Written and Produced by David Benjamin Blower

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all rights reserved

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about

David Benjamin Blower Birmingham, UK

David Benjamin Blower: 6-string writer, poet, theologian and podcaster from Birmingham in the UK.

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Track Name: The Two Horses
Two horses strain, one from the other
Pulling two overlapping worlds asunder
Chains pulled taught, Quivering in the thunder
The coming days make their ways into the yonder
And the past makes no sound and will never turn around
As though it knows it is forevermore betrayed
And though it may be wrong, if ever it was strong
Its strength is in the service of its hate, from now on
Its strength is in the service of its hate

And now the present’s has fled, away as the gull flies
flees the apocalyptic stalling of the sunrise
And you and I’re stood, wide eyes to Jesus
Two worlds tearing asunder beneath us
And many hands do clap over mouths as the trap
pulls tighter and the overlap is shrinking
And they say we must choose; on which world of the two
Shall we fall? Or else be lost between them sinking? What to do?
Where to fall? Or else be lost between them sinking?

Loves, I shit ye not,the aeon is turning
One age pulls away from another in revulsion
Under our watch, the tribes are a-forming
Around whichever world they all will fight for in the morning.
And though we laugh it off with many a meme upon our screens
Elsewhere the bombs and screams are a-ringing
And though we play the fool, this weary country and its queen
The earth has not forgot the blood of women, boys and girls
The earth shall not forget the blood of these
Track Name: Everything is Changed
Everything is changed
All didst run its course
The present fears nothing more
Than a Trojan Horse
Ye who steak your existence
On borders and walls
The emerging future’s among you!
Its within us all!
Everything is changed
Be still and listen
Can you hear the air quietly
Hissing out somewhere? Blowing in your hair?
Stare at nothing for a second
Don’t even think
The world inflated around us
Is all going limp

Everything is as it ever was
Only more so
Behold all of thy gods
Same as ten years ago
The screen is a Berlin wall
Between us all and the show
yesterday’s entertainment
Is tomorrow’s government, no?
Everything is as it ever was
Only more so
The virtues that held back the weather
Discharged long time ago
And all you terrified zealots
Didst vote yr messiah to the throne
One criminal gang for another
All make their deals with Rome

Everything is strange
Who here moved the piece?
That began the rearrangement
Of all things from west to east
Behold the readjustment
Of all those who said they knew
And all of the listless players
That don’t know what to do
Everything is Strange
And who here knows the rules?
Still hammering the present crisis
With a box of yesterday’s tools?
who still hopes down telescopes
Upon this ship of fools
Who here still looking for the promised land
To drill for fossil fuels?

Everything is under strain
And where now’re thy failing gods?
Trapped in the black mirror?
In flight and dropping bombs?
Behind fences lined with wire
Policed by guards with dogs?
Sat down in the seats of power?
Yes, you go tell that fox
Everything is under strain
Death and worms in the royal box
O ye anxious clouds
I’ll be your lightning rod!
Scapegoat the wanderers
For your decline and fall
What else is crucifixion
But your loss of control?

Everything is in pain
So many tears unshed
There’ll be no reparation
There’ll be no justice, yet
And all that has been taken
That never shall be returned
And all that has been broken
Forever shall bear the wounds
Everything is in pain
Gather ye round the past
For all the noble industries
That never shall be re-sparked
For all the lost identities
since thrown beneath the wheels
For all the ancient slaveries
That shall not be healed

Shed thy tears forever
O let them never end
For how many tears, shall we say
Before thy sorrow is spent?
And when you’ve wept until you
Know there are not tears enough
Then shall ye be ready to
Turn and face the rising sun
Then ye shall be ready to
Turn about from that before
Then shall you end your lust for
victories in this fruitless war
Then shall you end your hope
of saving what you though was yours
Then shall you turn and see a
Future which belongs none, and all
Track Name: The Wall
We all walk into the future, backwards
Because the past is our only reference
And only rarely does the present demand
That we turn and refer to what stands there ahead of us

And when the present demands that we turn and behold
We will confound it, and we will say “no”
And any who turn and say what they see
We will no longer break bread with these

For if we must hit the wall it is our
Wish to do so unknowingly
Can we hope for any better ending that this?

If only it were so! But we do know
We can smell it, and we can can feel it in our bones
And to suspend our knowing unknowing, we go
And hang what we know on the tired bones of those

Scapegoat the wretched of the earth
For the judgment that we have piled high against ourselves
All before creation gives birth to the
New things we cannot imagine
Nor shall we have any right to taste them

And when she will take back from us all her stolen sabbath’s rest
We will say, on that holy day: “amen, and yes”
Track Name: The Global Village
Stateless people, stateless money, stateless information
Stateless highways and byways passing through the barb-wire fencing
The world is now awoken unto new imaginations
If our gods fall with our states, then what was our religion?
Yes, if our gods fall with our states, then what was our religion?
But with eyes of stone we pick up the phone and say

“Bulldoze the Global Village boys”

So who then is the guarantor now of the stateless human?
And under which law is it, now, that we should deal with you then?
You who ’scaped the world we poisoned out beyond the margins
You who ‘scaped the world they blew apart with bombs we sold them
You who braved the lawless in-between world of Poseidon
You who live among us now as future among the present? Hell no…

“Bulldoze the Global Village boys”

So what now when all tribes and tongues do gather on our borders?
So what now when this song of praise is sung in many colours?
So what now of the corrugated towns stood here before us?
So what now with this interruption in our fragile nomos?
Shall we grant this city to be realised among us?
But with hearts of stone we pick up the phone and say

“Bulldoze the Global Village boys”
Track Name: The Scaffoldless Hope
O Scaffoldless hope, o climbing
Thoughts, without banisters, if
There is any road into the
Days beyond the calendars of
Woe, it’s but a thread, a circus
Rope, on which all gaze with disbel-
lief, through so much woe, so many
Ghosts, whose faces marked with hardened grief
(Whistle)
You streets and towns, behold your ground, and dig your wells together
You streets and towns, hold each others shoulders: govern yourselves together

The future is crashing like waves against the breakers
The suits are all stashing their gold in hidden places
If you guessed the future’s benign y’are mistaken my friends

O, Angel of Time, with frozen
eyes, looking back on catastro-
phies, all stacking up and piling
high. And yet I see you, yes I
see, you want to heal and make it
right, but your wings are spread out
wide, and some ill-wind carries ye
away, off to some future there behind
(Whistle)
You streets and towns, behold your ground, and dig your wells together
You streets and towns, hold each others shoulders: govern yourselves together

The future is crashing like waves against the breakers
The suits are all stashing their gold in hidden places
If you guessed the future’s benign y’are mistaken my friends
Track Name: The Youth
Unconsoled youth, pick up your spades
Go outside and dig your graves
Or go dig wells, because these days there’s only
these two ways still left open to you
And as you dig, best pay no mind
To all the voices there behind
Who can’t understand why you don’t pay any mind
What they passed down to you

And the futures of today
Have debts they’ll never pay
And the ‘morrow will be strange

My friends you are the silent scream
Of those who’re born into a screen
Out of a world that has been sold
to sociopathic deal-makers
And though we hear their drums of death
If you all have anything left
Go plant a tree and watch it grow
For these things shall inherit the earth

And the futures of today
Have debts they’ll never pay
And the ‘morrow will be strange

And as the proud draw up the maps
Tell you your names and slap your backs
You play their games, or else reclaim
Creation from her slave-masters
So unclench your fists and raise your heads
Knead the dough and bake the bread
Open the doors, welcome the guests
And conspire round the table my friends

And the futures of today
Have debts they’ll never pay
And the ‘morrow will be strange
Track Name: The Floor
And so will we fall through all our troubled sleep
And awaken to panic, guilt and to dread
And then we will fall through the floor once more
And then into tears and laughter instead

And wonder and sorrow over everything that is
How much it matters, in ecstatic clarity and madness
And every thread of the dread comedy of foolishness
That we really existed! And we really did this!

And nothing can be undone
only tended, and forgiven

Then shall we open our small clenched fists
And hold out palms of powerless thankfulness
For everything we received was gift
And there’s been no small measure of love in our midst

And finally, stand we all, in defeated awe
At everything that is, and was, and shall be evermore
Track Name: The Soil
Put your hands in the soil
Feel the groan and feel the joy
All sit with the hurt
All stare at the dirt
Occupy the bandstands
Gather lost citizens
Climb down your pyramids
Relinquish your privilege
Welcome strangers to your table
As though they were angels
Make space for the spent
Sit with the lament
Break your vows to the Powers
Plant trees. grow flowers
Share your resources
Free all the horses

All citizens
Put your hands in the soil
And feel the groan
And can you feel the joy
And be still

Down by the riverside
And who’s not afraid to die?
Emerge from the waves
All torn from the powers of the age
Live now as citizens
Of what’s left in the age to come
Behold the messiah dying
For the earth we’re crucifying
Break bread and take drink
All feel and think
Shed tears everyday
For everything we throw away
Mourn for your families
Mourn for your enemies
Sing songs to the stars
Console yr grieving hearts

All citizens
Put your hands in the soil
And feel the groan
And can you feel the joy
And be still

Clap your hand to your mouth
Let your pride go south
Put hands on your head
Make terms with the dead
Put your hands on your face
Too late to learn from mistakes
Put your hand on your heart
Can we stop what we start?
Sisters to the leverage
Brothers to the edges
Youth to the fore
The bleak future is yours
All ye of noble birth
Join the scum of the earth
Gather round the powerless
For theirs is the power that can save us

All citizens
Put your hands in the soil
And feel the groan
And can you feel the joy
And be still
Track Name: The Holy Ground
Its good the wind should blow
Come and go as it please
Let's meet outside the walls
Highways rolling free
Its good to light up the fire
Its good to break the bread
Place a drop of oil
Upon another’s head

O stranger, Stranger
All of the sky between us
Be filled with a hopeful sound
O Neighbour, Neighbour
Every yard between us
Shall now be holy ground

O ye violent law
O hostility
O ye merciless thought
O ye gates without keys
Hang no more in false doom
Stand no more in between
Be broke down in the prayer
Of these sufferings

O stranger, Stranger
All of the sky between us
Be filled with a hopeful sound
O Neighbour, Neighbour
Every yard between us
Shall now be holy ground
Track Name: The Finale
And then didst we all cry out
To the ages behind and above us
In sorrows, to call them down
To bury, to end and to crush us
Now fey, in a vacant dance
E’er bouncing off of one another
And how e’er much the cries do arise
Yet can we do no otherwise?
And so it goes

Ye wonder how much might end?
O, so much more than you would dare to imagine
And yet, in the wastes beyond
You’d be surprised how cheaply all this is forgotten
When not one stone shall stand
Up there upon another
And all the wicked deals that we made
To try and save our righteous tower
Shall unmask the whole

And when darkest night doth wear
And the world lies quiet and defeated
The bereaved in their sorrows stare
And, indifferent, the cold sun riseth
And do they who wander slowly from this place
Still hope toward the Messianic Grace
To gather all the world, such as it is
And ever was, in his embrace?
May it yet be so

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